I thought this category was going to be easy, there’s plenty of crap out there I could pick, but not only do I not want to sully my blog with some hideous track that due to the tags will no doubt have their fans reaching this blog and subjecting me to a flame war (you know what some if these rabid internet types are like!), I also want there to be a valid reason to talk about it other than “that’s a shit song, that’ll do”.
I immediately thought of The Libertines who, in my opinion, are the most overrated band in recent history. But then I realised I don’t actually hate them, I just dislike their music and hate Pete Doherty! I then moved onto Razorlight as I felt I could choose “Stumble and Fall” as I actually quite like that tune, but then again I realised that hate is too strong a word for what I felt about the band, they are unremarkable indie landfill and do absolutely zero for me but do I hate them for this? No, but on the other hand I would really like to punch Johnny Borrell repeatedly in his stupid smug face! 🙂
So what am I going to choose? Who, or what do I hate? I hate free jazz but then that’s a taste question, there’s nothing inherently hateful about it, no, the thing that really winds me up, I realised, is bland middle-of-the-road music or “music for people who don’t really like music”, and the band that floats to the top of this stinking cesspool for the purpose of this post today is Scouting For Girls!
I can picture it now, someone, let’s call him Geoff; an average thirty-something, possibly a sales rep who’s vision of alternative music is Coldplay or if he’s feeling really rebellious, something by “that band wiv the geezer outta Nirvana in, you know the one that din’t blow ‘is own head off, don’t like much o’ that ‘ead bangin’ shit tho”, is strolling around the supermarket when “She’s So Lovely” comes vomiting syrup-like from the speakers, “eh, this ain’t bad, the missus’d like this ‘un, I’ll get her the cd for Valentines”.
Years ago a good friend of mine once described the band Travis as being “offensively inoffensive” and that is exactly the problem with Scouting For Girls, I don’t know how many of you are old enough to remember Ade Edmonson as Vyvyan in The Young Ones ranting about seventies TV sitcom The Good Life; “I HATE IT. IT’S SO BLOODY NICE…… AND I. HATE. THEM!!” but that’s pretty much my feelings for SFG! There are, unfortunately, plenty of people that are happy to be spoon fed any old pap if Radio 1 or commercial radio says it’s good, or are under the impression that the only decent music in existence is being played to them by these lofty DJs, and if there was better stuff out there then surely somebody would hold their hand and guide them to it (as long as their ideals aren’t challenged in any way).
People like this are missing so much! Unfortunately you can’t just play them some Kvelertak, Butthole Surfers or Fuck Buttons and expect them to miraculously see the light, their prejudices are just too ingrained, they need to be led gently and the only way this’ll happen is if the X Factor is never re-commissioned, Melody or Magic FM are stripped from the airwaves and Radio 1 change their playlist overnight. Which, let’s face it is not going to happen and bands such as Scouting For Girls are making things worse!
I know at the top of this post I said I didn’t want to risk a flame war by putting such a dreadful song up here, but I reckon fans of SFG will be as insipid as their music, and are unlikely to bother reading some bloke’s music blog, but if not, bring it on!
Please pass me a bucket.